I often ask myself ‘What am I?’, as if words could provide the answer. We are forced to describe ourselves with words, To sum up our qualities and talents. But are we resumes? Are we social media profiles? No. We are so much more than words can express. But there comes a point when we have to describe what we do, what our gifts are. So I combine those words with the energy of a portrait. Words plus energy equals a fairly accurate representation of who we are.
I don’t know what I am. I don’t know what I do. I write. I think. I take photographs. I try to help people when I can. That is basically my life. It has changed over the last several years. It has become less about me. I strive to minimize the me in my life. I want to minimize me. But that is not easy. For well over forty years it has been all about me. Making the transition has been confusing and sometimes painful.
If I can celebrate other people, if I can make it about them, it’s easier. The transition I mean. It’s easier to shift out of me mode when I am looking at someone else through the camera and helping them to craft their messages to the world. I don’t have to ask myself what I am or who I am if I am directing all my energy at them.
But you’ve heard all this before. There’s nothing new or revelatory here. That’s what writers and painters and filmmakers do. They point the camera elsewhere so as not to have it always trained on themselves. Minimizing the self is an exercise in humility. It takes faith. It sounds counterintuitive but you have to believe in yourself in order to let yourself go. And the nature of that belief, it’s quality and energy, takes a lifetime to learn.
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